For the first time

Marvel at the life of a fence,
It doesn't question existence,
While my mind is full of doubt,
It tires me out
to flirt with the mistress called life,
death waits (the loyal wife),
My desperation to understand
leads my ignorance to expand,
Yet to say "I've had enough"
Would tempt someone to call my bluff,
Words fail to explain how I've bled,
Tears black as coal I've shed,
I search for someone to show me the way,
But to my dismay,
They all seem to chime,
"We too are doing this for the first time"