Never Listen to Yourself
Phase 1
'Listen to your heart' is a popular phrase. Used by musicians, teenage girls and start-up businessmen. It is actually an unfinished phrase. The full version of it would be 'Listen to your heart, if you want to perish.' Our heart tells us things like 'sure, it's okay to have a fourth round of roadside paani puri, and no,that dress is not too expensive.' And a little more scary things like 'Yes, you should feel righteous about killing that guy' and 'we will go to any length to protect our way of living.'
Its not that the heart shouldn't be trusted. Wait, no its exactly that.
I have no scientific backing and only the unwilling social experiment of my own life to fall back on when I say, our mind makes us do stupid stuff(heart/mind/limbic system/hormones/lalala). It makes us hold on to bad relationships, it makes a diabetic want sweets, it makes us put the alarm on snooze for the fifth time when we were supposed to be at work an hour ago. It makes us justify our desire so we can work toward achieving it. I'm not saying desires are bad. But, it's like that Coldplay song that goes 'When you get what you want, but not what you need.' It's not just Chris Martin's sexy Brit voice that makes me think that's deep stuff. When you don't get what you want, things can get a little messed up.When you don't get what you want, and you are the only one to blame for it, it escalates to a whole other level of messed up.
Phase 2
If something goes wrong in my life, I sulk. When many somethings go wrong in life I think, man I'm in deep shit. I feel like Rahul Gandhi after election results. It gets hard to get out of bed(and not in the nice lazy way) or concentrate on anything. I keep thinking, maybe its just my attitude that makes it so bad. Positive thinking is the way to go.
I should get an attitude that says, well, shit happens but I won't let it affect me.
I try the smile and wave. All it made me feel was insincere, which made me feel even worse as a consequence. And yet, positive thinking is shoved down my throat, by myself, media, and well-meaning folk. Cheer up! Smile your troubles away and make your enemies jealous! Positive thinking means getting really creative for your explanation of things and blind-siding any other kind of explanation. It involves ignoring many basic truths that are staring you right in the face. Its delusional. Since positive thinking requires us constantly deluding ourselves, a little part of us is constantly alarmed, knowing something is not right. Which leads to feelings like oh, who am i kidding. I could never have <insert desire> or never amount to <insert ambition>. And being right about it because we lied to ourselves in the first place. So in a way, positive thinking can be a self-sabotage of the grandest kind. I suggest wallowing in sadness and self-pity, if you have the time for it. There is nothing as fulfilling as being a victim.
Phase 3
Once that is done, you need to smack yourself in the head and get your shit together. This isn't some sad story from your Hindi textbook that you need to mug up to pass. This is your life. If there is one thing in the world that is yours, it is your life. Don't listen to yourself when your head goes 'I'm a mess.' You are wonderful. Maybe a whiny,self-centered asshole, but wonderful nonetheless. Now I should say what I mean is : Don't only listen to yourself. Also listen to the people who care about you. This will give you a larger picture of what you are doing vs what you should be doing.
Here is a definitive list of people to listen to:
1. Your family: Yes, these guys. They know a lot more than we are willing to give them credit for. These people know how awful you can get and are still willing to put up with you. I know it works both ways. There is something magical about the threshold.
2. Friends:Easier to talk to. They have no hang-up's giving you alternate therapy like baking dates cake or wasting mobile currency on you that they could've used on a net pack. Even caps lock can't summarise how IMPORTANT FRIENDS ARE.
3. Auto-wallahs: More the traffic, stronger your bond. Sometimes they turn out to be jerks but mostly they are bored driving around alone and don't mind giving you life advice in return for having somebody to talk to,
Full Circle
Now the reason I wrote this post isn't only to show how messed up my head can get. It is also to encourage you guys, yea all you 3 and a half viewers, to open up and share your problems. These are things you already knew. But sometimes, you need reminding. Just get it out. To any reflecting surface that talks back (and no that doesn't include Siri, you know full well i am talking about humans.) Talk to a friend. Don't worry about if it is appropriate or not. It's not just your life that sucks. We are all on the same stinking boat that seems to be stuck in a sea of cement. Every person experience's life differently. But every person has the ability to empathize (or at least sympathize) with someone else's plight. Tell your story until it stops bothering you. because, in the end, life is just a collection of stories. You will be saving yourself a lot of money on psychiatrist bills (sorry,friends who took up Counseling.)
'Listen to your heart' is a popular phrase. Used by musicians, teenage girls and start-up businessmen. It is actually an unfinished phrase. The full version of it would be 'Listen to your heart, if you want to perish.' Our heart tells us things like 'sure, it's okay to have a fourth round of roadside paani puri, and no,that dress is not too expensive.' And a little more scary things like 'Yes, you should feel righteous about killing that guy' and 'we will go to any length to protect our way of living.'
Its not that the heart shouldn't be trusted. Wait, no its exactly that.
I have no scientific backing and only the unwilling social experiment of my own life to fall back on when I say, our mind makes us do stupid stuff(heart/mind/limbic system/hormones/lalala). It makes us hold on to bad relationships, it makes a diabetic want sweets, it makes us put the alarm on snooze for the fifth time when we were supposed to be at work an hour ago. It makes us justify our desire so we can work toward achieving it. I'm not saying desires are bad. But, it's like that Coldplay song that goes 'When you get what you want, but not what you need.' It's not just Chris Martin's sexy Brit voice that makes me think that's deep stuff. When you don't get what you want, things can get a little messed up.When you don't get what you want, and you are the only one to blame for it, it escalates to a whole other level of messed up.
Phase 2
If something goes wrong in my life, I sulk. When many somethings go wrong in life I think, man I'm in deep shit. I feel like Rahul Gandhi after election results. It gets hard to get out of bed(and not in the nice lazy way) or concentrate on anything. I keep thinking, maybe its just my attitude that makes it so bad. Positive thinking is the way to go.
I should get an attitude that says, well, shit happens but I won't let it affect me.
I try the smile and wave. All it made me feel was insincere, which made me feel even worse as a consequence. And yet, positive thinking is shoved down my throat, by myself, media, and well-meaning folk. Cheer up! Smile your troubles away and make your enemies jealous! Positive thinking means getting really creative for your explanation of things and blind-siding any other kind of explanation. It involves ignoring many basic truths that are staring you right in the face. Its delusional. Since positive thinking requires us constantly deluding ourselves, a little part of us is constantly alarmed, knowing something is not right. Which leads to feelings like oh, who am i kidding. I could never have <insert desire> or never amount to <insert ambition>. And being right about it because we lied to ourselves in the first place. So in a way, positive thinking can be a self-sabotage of the grandest kind. I suggest wallowing in sadness and self-pity, if you have the time for it. There is nothing as fulfilling as being a victim.
Phase 3
Once that is done, you need to smack yourself in the head and get your shit together. This isn't some sad story from your Hindi textbook that you need to mug up to pass. This is your life. If there is one thing in the world that is yours, it is your life. Don't listen to yourself when your head goes 'I'm a mess.' You are wonderful. Maybe a whiny,self-centered asshole, but wonderful nonetheless. Now I should say what I mean is : Don't only listen to yourself. Also listen to the people who care about you. This will give you a larger picture of what you are doing vs what you should be doing.
Here is a definitive list of people to listen to:
1. Your family: Yes, these guys. They know a lot more than we are willing to give them credit for. These people know how awful you can get and are still willing to put up with you. I know it works both ways. There is something magical about the threshold.
2. Friends:Easier to talk to. They have no hang-up's giving you alternate therapy like baking dates cake or wasting mobile currency on you that they could've used on a net pack. Even caps lock can't summarise how IMPORTANT FRIENDS ARE.
3. Auto-wallahs: More the traffic, stronger your bond. Sometimes they turn out to be jerks but mostly they are bored driving around alone and don't mind giving you life advice in return for having somebody to talk to,
Full Circle
Now the reason I wrote this post isn't only to show how messed up my head can get. It is also to encourage you guys, yea all you 3 and a half viewers, to open up and share your problems. These are things you already knew. But sometimes, you need reminding. Just get it out. To any reflecting surface that talks back (and no that doesn't include Siri, you know full well i am talking about humans.) Talk to a friend. Don't worry about if it is appropriate or not. It's not just your life that sucks. We are all on the same stinking boat that seems to be stuck in a sea of cement. Every person experience's life differently. But every person has the ability to empathize (or at least sympathize) with someone else's plight. Tell your story until it stops bothering you. because, in the end, life is just a collection of stories. You will be saving yourself a lot of money on psychiatrist bills (sorry,friends who took up Counseling.)
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