The Secret Of Food Coma

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Life is a mystery filled with desires that people desire. But there is one desire, that beats all others. So many people yearn for it. They spend their life in search of it, but they never find it. Today, I will show you the path. The ancient secret shall be revealed in this blogpost. Today, I will tell you the secret to the perfect food coma. All you have to do to attain this state of semi-nirvana, is follow these steps.


Step 1: Time
Time is of the essence . The best time for a food coma is between 12p.m. to 3p.m., also called the time of 'important' meetings and important lectures. The sleep in this period is dangerously comforting. An average of 15 minutes should be your ideal food coma time. Try to have nothing on your mind during this time period. 
Step 2: Work
This is a pre-requisite for the perfect food coma. If you are dog tired, your body will sleep better. Do some physical labor related work. Let your body ache. Let your unused muscles tighten. This part depends on how (*ahem*) fit you are. If you are like me, washing a bucket of clothes should be enough hard labor to get you in the mood. If you are fitter then, I don't know man, you brought this tough luck upon yourself.  It is going to be hard for you to tire yourself out in a short span of time. Go on a cross country marathon or something. Pfft, fit people.

Step 3: The Food
After all that hard work, you need to reward yourself like magicians reward seals (ten points to you if you get the reference). Milkshakes and cheesy stuff are a good start. But the real magic maker is rice. This grain of life is better at evoking sleep than anything your pharmacy can give you. A thousand of those will make you feel like you have a baby dog in your belly. Your mind will decide that it doesn't want thoughts racing around it any more. It wants the thoughts to slow down, lie down, and just STFU.

Step 4: Fan Speed
Once you are in resting position, the only thing that can ruin this auspicious nap is your fan speed. If the speed is too high, you might break your sleep to get a blanket. If it's too low, you will have enough sweat beads to make a bracelet. Find your perfect fan speed and let your ears rest in the lull of its rotations. If you follow these steps, you are sure of attaining the perfect food coma. Don't thank me, thank the universe. And rice.

Comments

  1. Emiliano6 October 2014 at 00:19

    Now it all makes sense....this is what the Marnam was doing all this while.
    So much experimentation, so little time. Meanwhile, I'm sure the little consumeristic part of your brain is going wild. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown6 October 2014 at 08:58

    Finding the perfect food com isn't easy. It is something I had to devote my life to! and what consumeristic part? :p (thnx fr reading)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Emiliano6 October 2014 at 12:59

    The part that pushes you to buy food. All that pre-packaged, branded food. ;)

    ReplyDelete

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